Sitting By The Sea Shore

Ohm...finally the soul settles after seven months of travel. So many bad beds, couches, over stayed welcomes, and working for friends for free. I believe my days of free artistic work are over. Once is was about doing the work, anything to create something, anywhere; lets do it & you can buy me lunch or dinner. After too many years, one learns to barter and trade with those whom think your prices are too high for something they can not do themselves, but want you to do for nothing. Funny people and friends are the worst, they will pay $15,000 for a sports car they will not drive, pay thousands of dollars for new furniture while you redesign their bachelor pad. Yet they balk at a beautifully tiled shower that has been repaired for water damage three times, when you offer them a $3000 bid. Whatever, I am proud they place looks great and I should of took before and after pictures. I had a great time shopping for all the stuff & his life will never be the same.

Sweet memories of ramped rebellion on the shores of Surfside beach as a young teenager in Texas. I believe I was the only sophomore in my class to fail drivers ed, because I just could not get out of that Ford Torino at lunch time without cruising to the beach first. So here I sit, reconnecting with high school buddies, chilling on the shores of Galveston's West End. Sharks, seagulls and dolphins lagorge, what more could an artist ask for to keep life interesting.

Long walks on the beach thinking about how I want to do it different. Business is business and I have to take myself more serious here. I believe I will advertise for the first time in eleven years of referral business only. I have decided to charge for consultation, because it sucks when they take my ideas to the other guy and they look great. Seven months of word of mouth business has kept me afloat financially and all my bills are being made eventually.

Galveston has a downtown project going on, and they have a great historical district that represents the art fairly well for a small place. There is not much competition here but they are very talented, those who represent this community. I love Renee Wiley's work, unbelievable techinique and color. I will own one for sure before I go, if I go.

There's been a hunger to settle lately, to stay awhile and build a shelter and studio, at 47 this year is it possible that I have settled for all I want to see here in America. Roots are something I have never had nor was I allowed to hold on to, for fate had different plans. Lately there is a yearning to lay my head upon a firm chest and relax for awhile. To laugh and love and settle into something new and different. Dreams taunt my nights of men I do not know and love.

When at the end of your game, the final passage of your journey to transcend into another form of being. The only thing left is to let go, like free falling through space and time and be still and know I am God. Be still and know, be still, just BE

A Vision For Creative Living is Spawned.

So long ago I left here; Houston, running from things beyond me, in mind and body. How odd it is to return and sense such greatness in all that surrounds me here. The goodness, beauty and kinship of spirit among the people. I feel overwhelmed with the idea that everything I want is before me now. Every little detail etched out before me, waiting for my will to coincide with reality.

My work has been bombarded with psychic energy over the last two weeks. Metamorphic shifts within me have been worked out on canvas, and manifested some profound images. It is as if the whole Spanish Mission series has come full circle in my life. Personally; it started out being about transitions, from shadow to light, from one stage of being to another. The series encompassed the rights of passage that transcend a lifetime of spiritual development in humans, were one strives to evolve to a higher level of being.

Here I stand, at the gate way of my elder years. A lifetime of healing and art manifested over twenty six years. The end of one body of work into another, a new field for discovery into something new or undone. I am looking for a deeper level of expression that touches more people than mere form. I see an art studio in which I stand and hash out the differences in my minds eye. Manifesting on canvas the impressions from within, to a world outside of me, separate but one spiritual body.

The colour marks my canvas, the forms are becoming more personal and less commercial. I want scale, I love scale, to stand within a painting is to experience the energies of that artist. Pollock showed me that. I did not appreciate his art until I stood inside his painting and new what he was feeling instantly without words.

The madness when it is upon you seems more than you can bear. In the end; and in retrospect it all seems so perfectly orchestrated, one often wonders what the fuss was all about to start with. Such foolish minds, lie to the face of the ego, displaying shadows that are not there. Nor would they ever be there, if one would paint more and think less.

There is no fear of success, only lack of artistic work.

Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave.
Constantin Brancusi

Artistic Burdens Strengthen the Path to Freedom

As an artist, I study science, natural laws of the universe, religion and consistently sure the realm of the spiritual for insight. Often I look forward to the vision of freedom that only death could bring to the human condition. The things we attach ourselves to that cause great pain and suffering across generations, if the truth be know.

Several days ago I was attacked by fear, no present life threats just nasty old fear from nowhere. I sat threw it for 3 days, spoke with God on several occasions, even chatted with mother a bit.

Four days ago, cold turkey off cigarettes was so wretched, I made a simple decision to do what I love, tour the art galleries during a holiday reception and go dancing. Touring art galleries in Houston TX alone was terrifying but I pushed threw it, and discovered new inspirations for my work. Then off to the dancehall I ran. Kicked of the fancy clothes & tossed on the cowboy boots to heaven for me. I was no more threw the door of a dance hall 5 minutes and one exuberant person changed everything, I did not want to ruin it with my phone number, so I said no.

Two days ago, sadness shows up. WTF? I am thinking menopause now? I do not know, I had to goggle it. Five days off the smokes, really, crying over what. Who freaking knows. I do not even care, crying is so uncool in public places, WTF? So I wake this morning totally distracted by the fact that I awake this morning thinking of this freaking Patrick guy from the dancehall. WTF? I have gone mad, I am totally infatuated with a stranger I do not even know & so, I am crying.

Are all artist tortured by a dark side, I hope not. For most of us there is something, our brains are different, we did too many drugs in our youth, the doctor dropped us on our head when we were born. For me, between bad DNA and too many closed head injuries, I never stood a chance of being anything less than I am. I choose the way of the artist, because it makes me happy. I never believed for a minute it would bring me fame or fortune.

I always found it necessary to survive life in my world. Others who came before me also suffered from the artistic curse/blessing. Beethoven, Poe, Blake, Van Gogh, O'Keefee, Pollock so many before me the same, dead by addiction, suicide, mental insanities, just trying to fight the fight of living and trying to get out of this place with a bit a dignity.

So there it is and I am looking at some old stuff here - fixed ideas that have patterned my entire life. In the end. I asked an old women for help today, who knows some of the things I know, and wish I did not know. Things now, that are legacy, yet scares mark the tougher surfaces across the damaged areas. In the end, I accepted responsibility for my pain, for years of loss that I embraced like a sick and dying child, for all the years of sadness bestowed upon me from me, because I condemned myself to a certain type of life, a certain type of man, a certain type of demeanor and reputation.

Today, I am entirely ready to become more than this, or that which was. To let go of now, and then, for I have no power to over come that which kicked my spiritual ass the first time. These internal forces within me that rise to the surface above my rational thought, that which displaces my emotions so recklessly, those strangers that strike you so hard by just being themselves - your never the same again. The twist of fate, a serendipitous moments, those conversations with God you had mindlessly, in boughs of fear and sadness, when in desperation when you utter the words, I pray for your will in all things Lord, please do something.

To the world it means nothing, but to me today I know love, respect, hope and trust are in me. I know I asked all the right people for help and took what action had to be taken to set things right. I communicated what I want and what I believe to others, that I trust. Deep down, I know something big is going on, I do not know what it is, but it is huge, I can feel it.

What I sense is it smells like love, love of all things good and bad, love that surpasses all understanding. Love that is eternal now and forever. Love that can not be destroyed or denied, because it is under all condition good, just and right.

To be Artistic is insane & most people live there whole lives and never imagine having one day like today, much less thinking so much of so little. Tis no wonder we perish in the midst of it all, for who has the nerve to say it out loud, much less own it.

New Social Network ReverbNation for Contemporary Music Discovery

Here I was playing with a new jo bio format


The names johannah marie; and marks the consistent nature of my personality. God's gracious gift followed by bitterness, go figure!

I'm from the X Generation, we are the fore runners of Disambiguation. The X Generation was born into adversity without acceptable guidance from those around us, we succeeded in the face of that adversity at great sacrifice. In the beginning, Art Therapy was my medium of exchange from there to what is now, here for me.

Contemporary Visual Artist of Western Fine Art defines me professionally. A female visual artist, representing through a Westerner's mind set certain iconography with a new expression of ambiguity. Using the power of colour and composition for effect, I am creating an enigma of sorts, by utilizing visual elements to conjure an emotive response from a targeted group of people to see something beautiful.

Dedicated schools of thought that I follow, are the Arts, ancient religion, science & philosophy. Formally educated in behavioral science, psychology, applied science, and the studio arts. I find that I am an abstract conceptualizer with a very high manual dexterity rating, which means I am a thinker and very good with my hands. Mostly, I am introverted but no ones believes that too much, because I love life, people and places and travel to new places often. Being an artist is perfect for me, I look forward to the day, I settle down, build the studio and just be. It is soon approaching.

O'Keefe once said, she was taunted by images in her minds eye until she achieved them on canvas, thanks for that Georgia. I'd of never said that out loud, if you would not of spoke first. Micheangelo stated once that as artist, it is the process of creating that we are addicted to, not the end results - true story is that. I have found my path, making more money every year from the artist ventures that find me. Soon it will become a way of life and it will sustain me totally, I believe that today.

So there it is in a nut shell, the bio of jo.
How did I get here? Music, sound, conjured elements manifested out of silence, out of pure nothingness. Musicians have always been genius to me, I love the silence but reverberations assembled in such a way, conjure greater forces within me. I paint, draw, sketch, create visual elements in a trance like place I call the art zone, not always but when the stage is set just so, definitely. Pure sound without so many words my ego can attach to but maybe different words that make more sound.

In my studio, Wassily Kandinshy understood my experience. It is the joining of collective creative forces, merging together an expression in whatever medium. The feed, the connection, the streamline of consciousness which unites us all together. That is why I am here, to discover something new, different, more than just sub standard ego restraints.

We have come so far in such a short time and yet there is so far to go.
But the magic is here, now, before us always.

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

Dreaming Big in Texas

Sick for a week with this seasons flu, high on fever, therma flu and exhaustion. Placed me a week behind in studio works in the design business. Although when life started to return by day 4, after gaining sustenance on day 3, I painted & made a trip to the art store.

This perfect little bush bucket, so highly priced after 10 honest years of painting, has brought new life to the studio. Clean brushes, nicer equipment and hope for a new easel someday soon. The overwhelming urge to settle has weighted heavily upon my heart lately, after years of wonder lust.

Hopes of owning my own studio one day in the near future seems possible these days at 46 years old. Seeing my child and grandchildren daily seems like a vision of happiness or heaven. Knowing my grand daughter and I are kinder souls of wild artistry, surprises me not.

I sense a richer life ahead here at every turn I am finding what I want and have the resources to get it, in my unemployment. When my life stopped in Pittsburgh, I paused giving God his head, like a trusted steed and riding ever so slowly into this very position today. Richness abounds around me and it is good.

I will work among the sick and injured, because I can and it is the least I can do for my humanity. For whom much is given, much is expected and I can be responsible for that today. My art is my gift from God to fill my heart with stillness and strength daily. When people like so much that they unass large amounts of money it seems almost wrong, to love what I do so much.

I am satisfied, that I have been where I have and moved on to today. I am home here, surrounded by my kind. Like minded in spirit and temperament, among the beautiful and wild. We are the perfect Texas combination of exuberance lifestyles. Art, Science, God and Country; I live as I die wild & free living the dream of a good and righteous life.

Sleepless in Texas, contemplating life.

Wow, is it possible for friends to conspire to keep you in town, when you said "No I'm not back, just passing through". Friends can be a burden, then again they can be your strength too. For days now a deep sadness has over come me and I'm not sure why. I remember feeling this in the mountains of Wapiti Valley and sitting for days to understand what it was.

For as far back as I can remember, I have always been sad. Sad my Dad had to go, sad my Mom was always drunk, sad my husband died, so for my kid to be raise alone by me. So many opportunities have come my way, so many chances to do things different and what is saddest to me is the fact that I have denied myself happiness for so long.

A dear friend once said; Johannah, your responsible for your own happiness and for years I contemplated what he meant. Today I know what makes me happy, producing art. Creating and designing beautiful things for other people. I really do not care what it is, as long as I can create it and do it myself. I love art, it sustains me and makes me whole.

Is is not funny how distractions come along in moments of indecision or doubt. How well the ego can manifest the right shiny objects that catch its eye and proclaim to be desire or need in your life. Oh yeah, just attach yourself to the sinking rock and watch your dreams fall aside. Experience shows that distractions always lead to nothingness. A complete episode of wasted time and energy to do what? Face the inevitably at a later date and time, like it will be easy next time.

My choice today is to meditate and concentrate on my passion to create. For today I believe that beyond the sadness is something within myself that will free me from the mistakes of yesterday, when I denied myself the right to be happy. I will concentrate on designing and creating beautiful things for the world to enjoy. Whatever ego distractions come my way, I will let them be what may, for possibly I am wrong about them too.

Concentrate on designing and creating art forms, mediate on my emotions and wait. Wait on my intuition to show me what she wants. Wait on the emotions to reveal to me the other side of the sadness, for obviously it åis a place I have never been before.